When I was a young mommy with three small children I scurried around one morning to get a quick shower. ( because, as we all know, showering is a luxury not available to mommies...) I left my 2, 4 and 6 year old camped in front of the TV watching Barney. When I finished my short shower I opened the door of the bathroom and yelled down the stairs, "Erin! Is everything ok?" Hoping my 6 year old had things under control. Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I heard glass breaking. I grabbed a towel, (remembering that it would have been good to grab an actual bath towel before showering as this tiny towel was hardly covering anything,) and ran down the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs I heard more glass shattering and this time heard the shrill giggle of my two year old. I found 6 year old Erin and 4 year old Mike sitting dutifully in front of the TV with an empty diaper and clothing of the missing two year old. I yelled, "KELLY!!!" and then heard more glass crashing from the kitchen. By now the other two children have popped into action and we all ran into the kitchen,
Just at that moment, I saw my naked two year old, standing on the counter, reaching into the cabinet, taking out a drinking glass and tossing it to the floor. As the glass shattered, the two year old did a little naked happy dance on my counter. She saw me and tried to run, but the wall and the sink were in the way, I didn't want her to fall into the glass covered floor so I tried to talk calmly. "Kelly honey, stand still." The siblings were not as helpful.... "Kelly! Bad baby!" yelled the 6 year old. Four year old Mike chimed in, "Kelly NO NO!"
I quickly said to Erin, "quick! Grab my shoes!" so she headed off and quickly came back with a pair of black church pumps. Now, are you getting the picture? A naked two year old on the kitchen counter, a mostly naked woman with a very small towel and black pumps, two bouncing children and a floor covered in glass. I walked slowly quickly to my naked una-bomber and tried to grab her, but but she was able to perform the difficult two handed- two glass toss on to the floor, causing me to let go of the towel and jump backwards to not get shattered glass on me.
I grabbed Kelly, (both of us stark naked, her without church shoes on) and headed for the safety of the dining room and the cheering siblings when I looked up to see the meter man standing in front of my large dining room picture window. We made brief eye contact when he threw his hands up in the air and ran back to the sidewalk. (poor man, I am sure he was traumatized!!)
I was able to get my naked toddler dressed and down for a nap. I put on clothes and opted for the gym shoes instead of the black church pumps and headed to the kitchen. My mind whirled as I thought of what a stupid, selfish, bad mother I was!! My two year old could have been seriously hurt because I was so selfish to think I needed to shower. "Thats it!" I swore to myself! "No showering until they go to college unless there is another adult in the house!"
And, then... I saw the glass all over the floor. My mind saw the glee in the toddler's eyes as the glass hit the floor and shattered. I saw her happy dance. I thought actually how fun it might be to stand on the counter and toss glasses on the floor. I thought of me standing there in a tiny towel and church shoes. I thought of the poor, meter man with that horrible image burned into his brain. And then, I laughed. I laughed some more. Everyone was ok. My daughter wasn't hurt, and those were really ugly glasses. We all lived to tell about it.
Moms have seen it all. Faces covered in markers. The beautiful "self" haircut that your little one does with the scissors. Make sure they are alive, then have a laugh!
When life gives you lemons- toss them back, and ask for chocolate. Have a laugh. Don't take life so seriously sometimes. Because that laugh may help you so that you too, can make a difference, one random woman at a time.