Thursday, February 24, 2011

These are a few of my LEAST favorite things.....

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.......I declare....

I have a strong dislike for gnomes

 I am sorry. 
I know I will offend some people who have little garden art all around, and I don't mean to offend.  I just can't take them.  Gnomes are redneck cousins of Santa's elves. Why did we start putting creepy little people in our yard and nailing large metal butterflies to our house? 

I did my grandmotherly duty and took my grandchildren to see "Gnomeo and Juliet" and I suppose there were cute parts in it. 

I am concerned that Elton John is worried about college tuition for his new baby if he is letting a movie like this use his music. 

Gnomes dancing to "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting" 

Help me.  

That is a lot for this Grandma to take.  
And I have seen "Space Chimps". 
"Beverly Hills Chihuahua". 

I am no wimp. 

Save the money and rent this movie from Redbox so the kids can see it and you can do something important.  

Like hose off the pink flamingos in your yard.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Operation McGyver

It was a bad week.  We had been sick all week with various illnesses and I was just plain worn out by Thursday night.  My son Travis wanted Manwiches for dinner.  (Because a sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal!)  We started out browning the hamburger and all was going along splendidly!   I grabbed the can of Manwich sauce and went to the drawer for the can opener.  This was no ordinary can opener.  My friend had given it to me when she moved.  It was slick.  I had never seen anything like it!  It didn't cut the can, it removed the entire metal top leaving no sharp edges.  This was like something out of a science fiction movie! Who could think that a can opener could be so amazing.  Anyway, I am getting off track. 

The can opener was broken. I looked around for another can opener, because we have to have more than one  laying around the house, right?  No such luck.  There I am, with hamburger reaching optimum browning stage and I can't open the manwich sauce.

  In a simpler time,  you would just run to the neighbor and borrow, right?  The one neighbor I would consider borrowing from was not home, and the grumpy dude who lives next store would probably meet me at the door with a chainsaw, so that was not an option.  The lady across the street seemed nice, I had never talked to her- just waved from the driveway.  The other older lady across the street seemed happy when I helped shovel her driveway that day, but me banging on her door at night to borrow kitchen appliances didn't seem right. 

"Wow!" I thought.  " I am a horrible neighbor!"  I resolved to be more active and meet my neighbors, but the bigger task at hand was the lack of can opener  and the delicate time issue of hamburger on my hands. 

Travis is now looking at me with those "sad eyes" that makes a mother feel like the worst parent in the world.  All my kid wants is Manwich.  Is  that too much to ask?  Shesh.  I am a horrible neighbor and horrible parent.  This is not a good week!

"There must be something we can open the can with!" I smile.  I start digging through the drawers.  Screw driver in the junk drawer.  Rolling pin.  My mind rolls back to some vintage TV.  Mcgyver could open the can of manwich.  Mcgyver could blow up a plane with a can of Manwich, a phillips head screw driver and a rolling pin....I can do this! 

I put the phillips head screw driver on the can with my left hand.  I take the rolling pin in my right hand.  I begin to pound on the screw driver with the rolling pin. After two sharp hits the screw driver busts through the can!  Houston! We have lift off!  This would be easier than I thought.  I began to pound the can poking holes in it with the screw driver and the rolling pin.  Travis looks at me like I have lost it. 

I envision the men in the white coats coming, to take me away.  Ha Ha.  He He.  I envision my son, scared for life, telling the therapist, "Then my mom took a screw driver and a rolling pin....."  I snap back to the task at hand.  

The can has several holes in it, and I pry it open and dump the Manwich sauce into the hamburger.   I smile and say, "dinner will be ready in a couple minutes!"  My son laughs as we wash the manwich sauce off the screw driver. 

Yea, my son may think I am crazy, but I hope he figures out that I am resourceful and that you don't let little setbacks deter you from what you want.  I hope he sees that there are a lot of ways to get something done. I hope he has a little "McGyver" in him to be strong enough to handle the tough stuff.  These goofy little moments that all add up as we make a difference, one random woman at a time!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

My First Published Piece!

I had my first article published!

It is fitting that the first article I have published is about my mom.  She is my rock, and I hope someday when I see her again that she will be proud of me. 

When I shared the link with a dear friend in Kansas, she wrote:

"I loved reading about my dear friend Dot. She was my VT when I had a miscarriage and I'll never forget her visits with me. I was slightly afraid of her, but loved her with all my heart. She would be so proud of you today!"

Thank you to all of you who support me in my dream to writeI have a wonderful family and amazing friends.  Get out there and do something you love, do something you have always wanted to do, and for heaven's sake, get out there and make a difference, one random woman at a time.