30 Days of Thanks - Veterans Day 2010

 Today, nothing sassy to say.  Just a heart felt "THANK YOU" to all who have served, are serving and will someday serve.  Proud to be an American.   Wishing all a thoughtful Veterans Day.  Looking forward to that day when we shall all live in peace.  That will only happen when we make a difference, one random person at a time. 

30 Days of Thanks- My Birth Mom.....Part 2

In celebrating 30 days of thanks yesterday I was thankful for my birth mother.  I shared a cheery version of us eating at a swanky restaurant for lunch and chatting.  I imagine she owns a horse farm on hundreds of acres in the outskirts of Lexington, KY.   This "Disney-version" of meeting my birth mom is probably a little too perfect.  Today, I share, what I see as... "The rest of the story...."


ThelmaLou comes out of the door. She is tall, and large...She could play linebacker for the Denver Broncos....Especially this year.....  She is wearing denim.  There are visible tattoos. I think that is a beer can in her hand... It is the size of an oil can.  As she gets closer I see she has several teeth missing.  Oh boy.... What have I done?

She speaks to me, and I am aware that it is some kind of English dialect,  but I have trouble sorting it out.   I hear banjos... She invites me inside and tells me there will be a big, family celebration tonight, Where I will meet all of my half-brothers and half-sisters, grandmas and grandpas, cousins, aunts,  and uncles.... several layers of family.   I hand her the flowers I bring for her, to say thank you, and she asks, "Who done died?"  I am even more grateful for adoption. Oh, boy.... What have I done?

One of the "cousins"

That evening I meet the "family."  Everyone has two first names.  Billy-Bob, JimBo, BettySue,... yea, you get it.  They look strangely similar, especially the triplets with the birth defects.  I hear banjos again.  I am afraid to eat the meat, wondering if it was run over earlier this afternoon.  I am pretty sure that was some sort of moonshine in the barrel, I got dizzy and light headed walking past it.  Are they square dancing?  I take pictures because no one will believe me when I tell this story.  I wouldn't believe me if I heard this story.... When is my flight home?  Oh boy.... What have I done?

Later that night ThelmaLou wants to spend some time just with me.  She thanks me for coming to see her.  She admits she had "plum forgot" about me, and she was glad I had looked her up.  She then hits me up for money.  I look like I am made of it.  Can we run down to the Minit Mart and buy some lotto tickets?  This is the big one and ThelmaLou knows she is going to win it.   One of the hound dogs needs some surgery.  Normally they don't do surgery on the dog and just put it down, but this one is special.   I tell her I would  be happy to share some money with her but I only have $100 with me.  She tells me to never mind the trip to the Minit Mart, she just won the lottery.  I tell her my flight was changed and I need to go.... now.....  Oh boy, What have I done?

I return the rental car.  I get on my plane.  I think what on earth have I done?  Why did I need to go digging where no one should dig?  Dottie is in Heaven, laughing.  Belly laughing.  Grabbing her angel friends and slapping each other laughing... Tears running down her angel spirit laughing... Oh boy, what have I done?

I suppose I should be worried since ThelmaLou said she is coming to visit me..... But I am not... I gave her Hank's address in Wyoming...... Oh boy.....what have I done??? 

30 Days of Thanks- My Birth Mom

 

The bouquet of red roses is for the amazing lady that I am grateful for today.  Today I say THANK YOU to the woman who is my birth mother.   I have never met her.  I don't know her name, or anything about her.  I take that back... The only thing I have heard about her is that she was a Co-ed at the University of Kentucky in Lexington, and my birth father was a professor.  While that could make an interesting "Lifetime" channel movie, that is all I know.  I have no idea what color her eyes are, if she was tall, if her hair turned gray early, if she likes french fries, if she loves sports, or is anything like me at all.   I have no idea what happened when she told her parents she was pregnant,  if she ever saw my birth father again, if she graduated from Uof K, or what she did the rest of the summer of 1962.  I have no idea if she even thinks of me in June on my birthday or if she has long erased the difficult event from her mind.  I think of her, occasionally. 

I imagine I locate her (perhaps something dramatic like on the OPRAH show, or something less amazing like I just figure out where she is and who she is, because I am pretty good with GOOGLE.)  We chat on the phone and make arrangements to meet.  I fly to Kentucky.   We meet in a public place, (She worries I am a freak, she has seen too many Jerry Springer episodes of bizarre adoption reunion stories)  and we have lunch.   I greet her with a huge bouquet of roses.  I hope she likes them.  I bring her flowers for all the events I have missed in her life, Birthday's, Christmases,  Mother's Day,  you know, all the good ones!  We exchange small talk.  I show her a picture of my kids.  She thinks they are amazing, adorable and sound wonderful.  (Because they are!)  She shares a little about 1962.   She tells me the hard parts.  She is worried now that I will want to be in her life full time.  

The best part is when I just say "Thank you."  I tell her about Hank, and Dottie.  I tell her about how they spoiled me rotten.  I tell her about going to Europe every summer growing up (doesn't everyone?) And I tell her about piano lessons, swim lessons, riding horses, inter tubing down the ditch by my house, sleeping on the trampoline, joining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and becoming me.  I tell her I have always wanted to sit at the table, take her to lunch and tell her thank you.  I don't need to be at thanksgiving dinner, I don't need to meet 96 year old Aunt Pearl, I don't need to even meet some brothers and sisters that I may have now.   I only need to say thank you to the woman who brought me here.  I had a mom and a dad.  They were amazing parents and honestly, she should be semi-thankful she didn't have to raise me!!  

The ball is in her court.  If she wants to be a part of my life, I will love this new, amazing woman in my life.  If she wants to walk away and never talk to me again, that is ok too.  She has been through the rough part.  I finally get to look at her.  I finally get to see her nose, her smile and her eyes. I get to bring her the flowers I have wanted to bring her for as long as I can remember, and I get to simply say "Thank you!"  Talk about making a difference, one random woman at a time??  This lady made a choice that let me be here, and get a chance to be me.  Can't ask for anything more than that.   

30 Days of Thanks- Mom and Dad

Hank and Dottie Werner

30 days of Thanks would not be complete without a shout out to my parents.   Hank and Dottie were pretty amazing parents (although I was a pretty amazing child, so parenting had to be fairly simple.....)  I share their engagement picture because I had no idea my parents were movie stars! Seriously, does this picture look like a movie poster?   Earlier on this blog I have shared thanks to my mom., and I have shared some thoughts about my dad as well, but today I share total gratitude for the people who have helped me become who I am. 

In 1962 two amazing people adopted a little cute baby in Lexington, Kentucky.   Hank worked at IBM and Dottie was a stay-at-home mom.  I was told that one morning, while leaning out of my crib to watch my dad shave I did a header out of the crib and landed on the floor and in the hospital.  (So when people ask, "Where you dropped on your head as a baby?" The answer is a resounding, "Yes! Why do you ask?"  

Just a few short years later we are living in Boulder, Colorado living in a hotel while the house gets ready to move in.   Seemingly the TV got a little boring and I did not like what was on, so I took two feet and kicked it over.  I am amazed I am still alive.



For the kid who amazingly survived childhood I am sure my parents questioned working so hard to keep me alive once I became a teenager.  I pushed every limit, whined constantly, begged for stuff, and must have made them look up the adoption agency at least once to see if the return policy had expired.   A quick trip to Tucson, Arizona proved if Hank wanted to kill me he had ample opportunity.  No one would have found my body in the desert, and frankly, no one would have blamed Hank if I "disappeared."  But, he didn't ever kill me, and for that I am truly grateful.

I am who I am because these people raised me. Their blood doesn't run through my veins, but I am their daughter, no doubt about it.  I am as stubborn as Hank, (Who, at 83 refuses to give up driving back and forth from Wyoming to Colorado)   And occasionally as kind as Dottie, who has been gone since I was 17 years old, and taught me to think of others before myself.  I still struggle with that, but someday, I may get there.


Forget the stupid stuff your parents did, heck, we all make mistakes and they were trying to do the best they could.  For Dottie and Hank, that was no easy task.... and I was the GOOD kid!!!    I know not everyone had a great family.  Heck, by some standards mine was pretty screwed up.  But one thing that never failed was that Hank and Dottie loved me.  They still do.   They were the ones who taught me that, even though I am only one random woman, I can make a difference.   So can you..... Being Thankful is one way to truly make a difference.  Will you? 

Random Thankfulness

To truly live up to my "One Random Woman" image, I want today to be grateful for random things. 

• Toilet Paper.... (Awesome product, never really appreciated until you don't have any) 
• Ice Cubes...great invention! 
• Deodorant.... An entire world smells better, what a wonderful product! 
• Vacuum Cleaners.. This fall with my chubby dog dragging in leaves, this is a godsend. 
• Q-Tips.... The entire world would be walking around with clogged ears without this awesome invention. 
• Toothpaste/Toothbrush... Please refer to deodorant... smelling better, feeling better... 
• Headphones...Occasionally the most wonderful thing to drown out noise and let you hear only what you want to here. 
• Popcorn... Imagine movies without popcorn?  What's the point?? 
• Cell Phones.... Ok, occasionally the bane of our existence,   But think about how quickly we can keep in touch with friends and family.  It is awesome to connect instantly with those we love. The world becomes a very small place!! 
• Feminine Hygiene Products.... No explanation necessary
• Hostess Products... Ding dongs, Twinkies, Ho Ho's, Fruit Pies, etc.  Truly an American wonder.  

Please add the random items you are grateful for to our list!!!  There are tons of things that we really don't NEED but we are so grateful to have.   Loving something random is what makes us special!  Go make a difference, one random woman at a time!!! 

Thankful for those who care!

TJ Adams #6 for the Silver Creek Raptors

Yesterday  got some bad news regarding my senior son TJ.  He has a torn ACL and MCL and will require surgery.   This ends a great season as a wide receiver and tight end for the Silver Creek High School Raptors and takes TJ out of his senior season playing basketball.  As you can imagine this was tough news to take.  Surgery is scheduled for later this month.  

The funny thing about getting bad news, you find yourself surrounded by those who love you and support you.  This never ceases to amaze me!  Just when you feel at your lowest and struggle to find your way, people come out of the woodwork to assist.  Isn't this a  great thing??  When we show love to our fellowman, we show love for our Savior.  This is the path that we have been shown. 

Years ago, in an LDS General Conference Rex D. Pinegar shared a great message on  love.

http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=32a1d0640b96b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

This message is as valuable today as it was in 1978.  Yesterday, as we shared the news friends came out to share love, hugs, and words of encouragement to us.  I even called old friend Raegan Scott Pebley, who is the head women's basketball coach for the Utah State Aggies to ask her advice.  She walked me off the ledge and gave me hope and peace that things happen for a purpose and that we are all here to learn and grow.

What am I thankful for?  How can I not be grateful for the outpouring of love, support and prayers for my son?  How can I not appreciate all the prayers offered on his behalf?  How can I not be reminded to  help another every chance I can?  The words of consolation don't take away the sadness from my son, but the words offer hope to prepare for  the future, and to be ready to take on anything that comes his way.  The words of love and support help me remember that my Savior Jesus Christ loves each one of us, knows our trials and our sorrows and finds ways to comfort us with the other travelers on this journey.  

Make that phone call to a friend today that keeps popping into your head.  Stop what you are doing and hold the door for the frazzled person racing into the store. Smile. Take a few seconds to think of the trials that others carry, and see what you can do to make a difference- then DO IT!   We all can make a difference, one random person at a time!

30 Days of Thanks

www.30daysoftthanks.com

I noticed recently on Facebook many of my friends posting a daily short thought on things they were thankful for.  It is all part of of a campaign for 30 days of thanks, encouraging us to take a second from our busy days and notice all the blessings and what we are grateful for.  I am grateful for awesome people who come up with great ideas to get regular folks off their duffs to make a difference.

So pass it along, share your thoughts of what you are thankful for, get your friends to, and your family, and your co-workers.  Sending positive messages around in this day and age is exactly what we want to do be doing.

I have no idea where to start, I am so thankful for so many things.  So I think we can all agree we are thankful for the big things, our families, our freedom, etc.  So I am going to get little and specific, and share things I am thankful for that might be a bit off the beaten path.  (Because, let's face it, I am off the beaten path.... and doing "normal" just doesn't work for me!!) 

Today I am thankful for bedding.  Yup, pillows, sheets, blankets....bedding.   I LOVE hopping into bed and wrapping myself in my sheets and comforter, and resting my head on my comfy pillow.  I have BED-ADD. It is an illness that affects many of us... I can't sleep with the sheets tucked in.  I feel like my feet are being held hostage and can't move.  My feet are not meant to bend that way.   I hop into bed and quickly kick up the covers and "untuck" them to make a mini sleeping bag around me.  I then prop my pillows all around to create a "pillow canyon" for me to rest in.  It is amazing.  Now, of course, it is a little easier to have BED-ADD when you are single and don't have to share the bed with anyone.  BED-ADD people have trouble sleeping with normal people who keep the sheets tucked in and keep pillows at the top of the bed.   As far as I know, there is no cure for BED-ADD.  

So Thanks, pillows, blankets, sheets ( nice, high count sheets) for making bedtime a comfy place.    Because if we get a good nights sleep its a lot easier to make a difference, one random woman at a time!!!