Tuesday, November 9, 2010
30 Days of Thanks- My Birth Mom
The bouquet of red roses is for the amazing lady that I am grateful for today. Today I say THANK YOU to the woman who is my birth mother. I have never met her. I don't know her name, or anything about her. I take that back... The only thing I have heard about her is that she was a Co-ed at the University of Kentucky in Lexington, and my birth father was a professor. While that could make an interesting "Lifetime" channel movie, that is all I know. I have no idea what color her eyes are, if she was tall, if her hair turned gray early, if she likes french fries, if she loves sports, or is anything like me at all. I have no idea what happened when she told her parents she was pregnant, if she ever saw my birth father again, if she graduated from Uof K, or what she did the rest of the summer of 1962. I have no idea if she even thinks of me in June on my birthday or if she has long erased the difficult event from her mind. I think of her, occasionally.
I imagine I locate her (perhaps something dramatic like on the OPRAH show, or something less amazing like I just figure out where she is and who she is, because I am pretty good with GOOGLE.) We chat on the phone and make arrangements to meet. I fly to Kentucky. We meet in a public place, (She worries I am a freak, she has seen too many Jerry Springer episodes of bizarre adoption reunion stories) and we have lunch. I greet her with a huge bouquet of roses. I hope she likes them. I bring her flowers for all the events I have missed in her life, Birthday's, Christmases, Mother's Day, you know, all the good ones! We exchange small talk. I show her a picture of my kids. She thinks they are amazing, adorable and sound wonderful. (Because they are!) She shares a little about 1962. She tells me the hard parts. She is worried now that I will want to be in her life full time.
The best part is when I just say "Thank you." I tell her about Hank, and Dottie. I tell her about how they spoiled me rotten. I tell her about going to Europe every summer growing up (doesn't everyone?) And I tell her about piano lessons, swim lessons, riding horses, inter tubing down the ditch by my house, sleeping on the trampoline, joining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and becoming me. I tell her I have always wanted to sit at the table, take her to lunch and tell her thank you. I don't need to be at thanksgiving dinner, I don't need to meet 96 year old Aunt Pearl, I don't need to even meet some brothers and sisters that I may have now. I only need to say thank you to the woman who brought me here. I had a mom and a dad. They were amazing parents and honestly, she should be semi-thankful she didn't have to raise me!!
The ball is in her court. If she wants to be a part of my life, I will love this new, amazing woman in my life. If she wants to walk away and never talk to me again, that is ok too. She has been through the rough part. I finally get to look at her. I finally get to see her nose, her smile and her eyes. I get to bring her the flowers I have wanted to bring her for as long as I can remember, and I get to simply say "Thank you!" Talk about making a difference, one random woman at a time?? This lady made a choice that let me be here, and get a chance to be me. Can't ask for anything more than that.