Sunday, August 30, 2009

Universe Changing Purchase

Ahhh, fall is in the air. The crisp mornings and small leaves falling to the land are a testament of things to come. I know it is also fall when the shopping list to Walmart included PANTYHOSE...... It is that time of year that the tan legs are going away and will be covered up with the nylon/spandex product we women so love... (Not.....) But this trip to Walmart to purchase pantyhose has forever changed my life. This purchase has made me a new woman. This purchase may be the single most amazing invention since....sliced bread, the washing machine, Bath and Body works ....and Diet Coke.

I found pantyhouse that actually REDUCE THE APPEARANCE OF CELLULITE. I know you are saying,
"Carrie, we don't even joke about cellulite...! Shut your mouth!"

And I agree! Normally, discussing how my once very thin thighs now look like cottage cheese in a zip lock bag makes me uncomfortable. NO MORE!! I will just purchase Leggs SHEER VITALITY panty hose. This has changed my life.

This is an exact Quote from their website:

Sheer Vitality Benefits Anti-Cellulite

The sheerest support from L'eggs. Sheer Vitality Benefits Anti-Cellulite hosiery enhances circulation to help maintain healthy, energetic legs while all-natural cellulite fighting ingredients help reduce the appearance of cellulite. Micro bead contents: Soybean oil, butcher's broom, rutin, horse chestnut, paraguay tea extract, coleus farskholii, gotu kola, grape seed extract. Remains effective through 5 washings.

This is true! The box says" "Tiny Microcapsules containing all-natural ingredients are gradually released to fight cellulite."

and THIS! "64% of the women in consumer testing noticed a reduction in the appearance of cellulite!"

(Clearly, the other 36% are those women who wear size 2 jeans and say things like, "Do these pants make my butt look big?" and they are NOT to be trusted.)

Women! This is cause for celebration!! Stop working out! Buy these pantyhose! Stop dieting!! Buy these pantyhose!

Well, this random woman is off, to Walmart, to by a years supply of these babies before the FDA recalls them, because I am pretty sure that things like "butcher's broom, horse chesnut, and coleus farskholii can not be good for you.... but in the meantime-
I am going to put on my pantyhose and eat a twinkie....

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